so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
