I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
