operation have a gay friend backfired
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
