if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize