I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I'm both gender and math confused
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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