well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I just gargled with NyQuil
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
