So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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