What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
