you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize