i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
When are your genitals available?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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