My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
