exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
