She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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