I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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