you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize