they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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