She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I am spending my child support on dildos
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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