hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
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