Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
why is half of my head shaved?
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