I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
