Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize