His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Randomize
