From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
