How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
