The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
