I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
