she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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