what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
where am i from again
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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