I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
