Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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