We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize