Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
PANTIES FOUND
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