I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
a search helicopter?!
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Randomize
