i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Who died my cat blue again?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
