i wish my penis had a tongue
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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