I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
