apparently the secret to your success is patron
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
You are the jesus of drinking
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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