Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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