I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
