I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
