I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
