Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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