carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
