i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
