Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
