don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
