So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize