well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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