God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Can I color on your dick again?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
