the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
