I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
