there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Swine flu is the new snow day.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Randomize
