I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize