I queefed so loud it echoed.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Randomize
