Well apparently he's into motor boating.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize