I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
