i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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