my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
