chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
