the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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