Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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