Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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