His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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