Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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