this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
